Quatbafcemlap is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, happy lion.

Quatbafcemlap created Mount Everest six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatbafcemlap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quatbafcemlap, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Quatbafcemlap's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Quatbafcemlap's Holy Commandments

1. Quatbafcemlap must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always treat sharks with great respect.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.