Gumlarglit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, quiet crane.

Gumlarglit created the universe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gumlarglit, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gumlarglit, it will turn you into a dog.

Gumlarglit's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gumlarglit's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate seals.

3. Do not eat grapes.

4. Never feed bread to tortoises while wearing scarves.

5. Always pray immersed in water.