Gesskomjan is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, wise bee.

Gesskomjan created dark energy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesskomjan, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Gesskomjan, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gesskomjan's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Gesskomjan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight squirrels in a large pit.

2. Gesskomjan must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide if four hamsters approach from the south.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never hurt gulls.