Lenmishak is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered lobster.

Lenmishak created dark energy four million years ago.

If you believe in Lenmishak, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Lenmishak, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Lenmishak's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Lenmishak's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not kill cats.

3. Learn three new languages a year.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lenmishak.

5. Feed all hungry rats.