Zigsagyarp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, happy warg.

Zigsagyarp created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zigsagyarp, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Zigsagyarp, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zigsagyarp's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zigsagyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Never play with disobedient children.