Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, sapient mink.

Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap created the planet Earth eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Waplakhon Mobfebpaddap's Holy Commandments

1. Learn seven new languages a year.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Always treat sheep with great respect.

4. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place in gray.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.