Dubomtvid is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, selfish seal.

Dubomtvid created the Sombrero Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Dubomtvid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dubomtvid, he will turn you into a duck.

Dubomtvid's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Dubomtvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Dubomtvid in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not hurt cats.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.