Padyamflig is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, confident scorpion.

Padyamflig created the Large Magellanic Cloud seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Padyamflig, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Padyamflig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Padyamflig's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Padyamflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Padyamflig.