Funkikcat Nakjarnhas is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast gnu.

Funkikcat Nakjarnhas created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Funkikcat Nakjarnhas, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Funkikcat Nakjarnhas, it will turn you into a tree.

Funkikcat Nakjarnhas' most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Funkikcat Nakjarnhas' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Funkikcat Nakjarnhas in the centre of the settlement.

2. You must pray to Funkikcat Nakjarnhas three times a day.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Funkikcat Nakjarnhas.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism.