Tabrulbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, vain dryad.

Tabrulbonk created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabrulbonk, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tabrulbonk, he will remove you from existence.

Tabrulbonk's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tabrulbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant near ants.

2. Do not dye your hair violet.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Run away if five cats approach from the east.

5. Never feed coconuts to turtles while wearing fawn rings.