Guptanhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking beaver.

Guptanhiv created energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Guptanhiv, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Guptanhiv, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Guptanhiv's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Guptanhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing yellow rings.

4. Never talk about dogs.

5. Never wear kilts.