Sigfunbemtin is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, humane lion.

Sigfunbemtin created a photon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sigfunbemtin, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sigfunbemtin, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Sigfunbemtin's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sigfunbemtin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect six aluminium sculptures of Sigfunbemtin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not hurt aardvarks.

4. Worship no other gods but Sigfunbemtin.

5. You must never eat carrots.