Nartbab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, strong mink.

Nartbab created Europe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartbab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Nartbab, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Nartbab's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Nartbab's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Never talk about ultrasonics near snails while wearing fawn skirts and balancing eight silicon spheres on your neck.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in magenta.

4. Never think about dark matter near mites while wearing mauve stockings and balancing three aluminium spheres on your face.

5. You must never eat corn.