Bedcanmap is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, sapient wyrm.

Bedcanmap created the Sun three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bedcanmap, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bedcanmap, it will turn you into a rat.

Bedcanmap's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bedcanmap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always obey Bedcanmap's priests.

3. Always treat ants with great respect.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near frogs while wearing mauve trousers and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.