Rakstafveg is a god.

She takes the form of a large, pitiless bird.

Rakstafveg created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rakstafveg, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Rakstafveg, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Rakstafveg's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Rakstafveg's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate voles.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always obey Rakstafveg's priests.

4. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

5. Never mention ducks.