Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, loving goblin.

Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Donsitstrag Jenwapvonk Vogdamlim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill dolphins.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat green fruit.