Vagladbet is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, charitable turtle.

Vagladbet created Africa two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagladbet, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagladbet, he will send minions to preach to you.

Vagladbet's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Vagladbet's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.