Fidgaddog is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ill-tempered elephant.

Fidgaddog created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidgaddog, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fidgaddog, it will turn you into a tree.

Fidgaddog's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Fidgaddog's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look at stars.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.