Bumcemtap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, duplicitous wyrm.

Bumcemtap created viruses three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bumcemtap, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bumcemtap, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bumcemtap's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bumcemtap's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Do not keep three goats in a large pit.

5. Never mention snakes.