Gadfasgam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, overgenerous spider.

Gadfasgam created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Gadfasgam, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gadfasgam, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Gadfasgam's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gadfasgam's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the north.

2. Never eat strawberries.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Hide from pink porpoises for they are unholy.