Fodcitquim is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, moody crow.

Fodcitquim created energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fodcitquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fodcitquim, he will throw large rocks at you.

Fodcitquim's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Fodcitquim's Holy Commandments

1. Shun those given to cruelty.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not consume carrots at dawn.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.