Begbomquilldancarlatzag is a god.

It takes the form of a large, idiotic zebra.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag created a strange quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begbomquilldancarlatzag, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Begbomquilldancarlatzag, it will turn you into a snail.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Begbomquilldancarlatzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in holy places.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing priests.

3. Never speak the names of comets aloud.

4. Do not dye your hair orange.

5. Never sit in the presence of elders.