Hontagwon Cad is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, awesome scorpion.

Hontagwon Cad created the Cigar Galaxy nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hontagwon Cad, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hontagwon Cad, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Hontagwon Cad's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Hontagwon Cad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never think about solid mechanics near ants while wearing violet shoes and balancing nine copper spheres on your feet.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about grasshopers.

5. Tortoises are not to be trusted.