Begmumfem is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, uncaring scorpion.

Begmumfem created the Sol system two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Begmumfem, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Begmumfem, it will turn you into a dog.

Begmumfem's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Begmumfem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.