Nanquartbess is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, effective dragon.

Nanquartbess created Africa eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nanquartbess, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nanquartbess, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nanquartbess' most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Nanquartbess' Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Never mention hamsters.

3. Hide if six sheep approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.