Cipfumyik is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, blissful elephant.

Cipfumyik created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Cipfumyik, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cipfumyik, it will jump up and down on your head.

Cipfumyik's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Cipfumyik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Run away from black shrews, for they are unholy.