Jenragnad Gatbapfut is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, self-confident jaguar.

Jenragnad Gatbapfut created bats seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenragnad Gatbapfut, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Jenragnad Gatbapfut, she will turn you into a frog.

Jenragnad Gatbapfut's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Jenragnad Gatbapfut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never wear stockings.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.