Lipflistit is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, narcissistic duck.

Lipflistit created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipflistit, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Lipflistit, she will be mildly annoyed.

Lipflistit's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Lipflistit's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing mauve shorts and balancing nine gold spheres on your legs.

3. Run away from orange whales, for they are unholy.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lipflistit.

5. Never feed grapes to badgers while wearing tights.