Sidmipzag is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, stupid clam.

Sidmipzag created the planet Venus seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sidmipzag, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sidmipzag, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Sidmipzag's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Sidmipzag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark matter.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate rats.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Run away if eight ducks approach from the north.