Xucxuckbag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, quiet porpoise.

Xucxuckbag created carbon nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xucxuckbag, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Xucxuckbag, he will try to impress you with trees.

Xucxuckbag's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Xucxuckbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Xucxuckbag.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.