Cumzimfon is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, charitable bee.

Cumzimfon created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cumzimfon, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cumzimfon, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cumzimfon's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Cumzimfon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Erect nine silver sculptures of Cumzimfon on top of important buildings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.