Largdamsid is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, kind hamster.

Largdamsid created life four billion years ago.

If you believe in Largdamsid, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Largdamsid, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Largdamsid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Largdamsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into brown rooms.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near nematodes while wearing turquoise corsets and balancing seven silver spheres on your legs.