Bograpmotgan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sapient snail.

Bograpmotgan created bats nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bograpmotgan, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bograpmotgan, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Bograpmotgan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Bograpmotgan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bograpmotgan.

3. Always help turtles.

4. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Bograpmotgan in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never look in ponds.