Tettinanyar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, compassionate raven.

Tettinanyar created a photon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettinanyar, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tettinanyar, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tettinanyar's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Tettinanyar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Hide from black goats for they are unholy.

4. Never hurt capybaras.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.