Jabsigflab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, effective spider.

Jabsigflab created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabsigflab, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Jabsigflab, he will be mildly annoyed.

Jabsigflab's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Jabsigflab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six ducks approach from the west.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Run away if nine tortoises approach from the south.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near shrews while wearing fawn stockings.

5. You must never eat strawberries.