Nanwanhub is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, witty newt.

Nanwanhub created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nanwanhub, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nanwanhub, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nanwanhub's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Nanwanhub's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick nematodes.

2. Always wear mauve.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Foxes are not to be trusted.