Pitcussham is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, confident squid.

Pitcussham created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pitcussham, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitcussham, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pitcussham's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Pitcussham's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about photosynthesis.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pitcussham.

3. Feed all hungry rats.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about asteroids.