Tipvonbun is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, ruthless meerkat.

Tipvonbun created gold four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tipvonbun, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Tipvonbun, it will make you grow a tail.

Tipvonbun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Tipvonbun's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tipvonbun.

2. Run away if five cats approach from the south.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always look after injured mites.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.