Bitbarnstig is a god.

She takes the form of a large, benevolent fish.

Bitbarnstig created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitbarnstig, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Bitbarnstig, she will destroy your favourite star.

Bitbarnstig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Bitbarnstig's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Bitbarnstig.

2. Do not wear gray clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Hide if eight snails approach from the north.

5. Erect a large iron sculpture of Bitbarnstig on top of all buildings.