Vonktonmot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, kind squid.

Vonktonmot created the Small Magellanic Cloud nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonktonmot, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonktonmot, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Vonktonmot's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Vonktonmot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help goats.

2. Never write about dark energy.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.