Quimbutkontitgebvog is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, tiresome bear.

Quimbutkontitgebvog created tapeworms nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quimbutkontitgebvog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Quimbutkontitgebvog, she will turn you into a snail.

Quimbutkontitgebvog's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Quimbutkontitgebvog's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat frogs with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair indigo.

3. Never look at comets.

4. Do not eat bananas.

5. Never talk about electromagnetism near goats while wearing white corsets and balancing four aluminium spheres on your chest.