Gumweequill is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless mongoose.

Gumweequill created the Large Magellanic Cloud three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gumweequill, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gumweequill, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Gumweequill's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Gumweequill's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Gumweequill in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Always obey Gumweequill's priests.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.