Bognigwig is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Bognigwig created the cosmos nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Bognigwig, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bognigwig, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Bognigwig's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Bognigwig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Bognigwig loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

4. Worship no other gods but Bognigwig.

5. You must pray to Bognigwig eight times a day.