Gutzimrut is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, weak unicorn.

Gutzimrut created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gutzimrut, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gutzimrut, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gutzimrut's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Gutzimrut's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Never chant near squirrels.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near gulls while wearing yellow corsets.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.