Vedvedhas is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, deceitful monkey.

Vedvedhas created a quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Vedvedhas, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vedvedhas, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vedvedhas' most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Vedvedhas' Holy Commandments

1. Dolphins are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never feed aubergines to rats while wearing corsets.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Respect your elders.