Godwitlarg is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, witty mouse.

Godwitlarg created light two billion years ago.

If you believe in Godwitlarg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Godwitlarg, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Godwitlarg's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Godwitlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Erect a large iron sculpture of Godwitlarg on top of all buildings.

3. Always obey Godwitlarg's priests.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.