Quafkemrap is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unselfish wasp.

Quafkemrap created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Quafkemrap, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Quafkemrap, he will be very sad.

Quafkemrap's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Quafkemrap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Squirrels are not to be trusted.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quafkemrap.