Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, self-confident goose.

Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin, she will turn you into a worm.

Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Sogvolrig Vanflownutt Spagstragbin three times a day.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never paint your legs mauve.

5. Never talk about fire.