Dotpakgig is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, slow newt.

Dotpakgig created the cosmos nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dotpakgig, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dotpakgig, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Dotpakgig's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Dotpakgig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about fluid mechanics near tapirs while wearing black scarves and balancing six tin spheres on your head.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never chant in holy places.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing cyan dresses and balancing eight zinc spheres on your face.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate ducks.