Gedhanjam is a god.

He takes the form of a small, staggering coyote.

Gedhanjam created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedhanjam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gedhanjam, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Gedhanjam's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Gedhanjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near ants.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Never wear trousers.