Nilarmmad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, passionate zebra.

Nilarmmad created the Sombrero Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilarmmad, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nilarmmad, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Nilarmmad's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Nilarmmad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about thermodynamics.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nilarmmad.

5. Always help sick porpoises.